Top 10 signs you may be UNCOOL
Girlfriends, significant others and plus ones, we like to think of ourselves as fun, relaxed, easy going, no-fuss partners. We strive to be the cool bird– you know encouraging boys’ nights out, tagging along only occasionally– going pint for pint enough to be a good sport, but not so much as to be clingy or laddish, cheering on the side and talking the off-side rule with confidence (which face it boys, is hardly the rocket science you make it out to be) and perfecting the tricky art of invisible make-up. Because no man likes a trussed-up dolly bird, preferring us all to be ‘au natural’. (Sure they do. If only they knew.) Ah… the throes of youth when we have the time to calculate and maximise our behaviour-to-coolness ratio....
TRUMP WINS! I’m headed to Iceland.
I went into a Lidl once. Call it curiosity, boredom, or just fancied seeing what all the fuss was about. Live life on the edge, that’s me. I meandered down a few haphazardly stacked rows of ‘Wellogs’ Corn Flakes*, ‘Feinz’ Ketchup* and ‘Balkers’ crisps* before turning on my heal and hot footing it to the nearest Sainsbury’s. True story. Something about it felt like a post-Soviet era grocers. Snobby, out of touch and elitist? You bet. What can I say? I’m a sucker for branding. This occasionally jars with The Man, who suffers sporadic episodes of RAUF– Random Acts of Unexplained Frugality. This means the odd purchase of generic Paracetomol or ”brufin’ as he calls it, finds its way into the...
