FOMO? More like EOF

There are few things in life more stressful than throwing a surprise party. Divorce? Moving house? Greek debt negotiations? Cake walk. Please. They pale in comparison to the clandestine planning, covert organising, negotiating and spending (oh, the spending) involved in creating that all too perfect and more often than not elusive moment lasting all of two seconds… SURPRISE!! Only it never works out like in the movies (just how nobody ever says ‘I’d like that,’ or ‘My , look at the time.’) Said surprise-ee  always finds out. I guess that’s the cost of being a family of nosy snoops, always taking furtive glances at pinging texts regardless whose phone—the deck was always going to be stacked against me. Bygones. It’s trouble enough booking a suitable date,...